Hello My Beauties~

To begin, I must strongly and sincerely apologize for my absence these past few weeks. October is a rather hectic month for me and my family. It is, as we all know, Breast Cancer Awareness month. Part of my mother’s career is to travel and tell her story of her breast cancer survival. October is when she is requested the most to speak in certain areas of the U.S. She is gone practically all month travelling, and when she is home, she works her behind off (is it isn’t bad form to admit publically) and whatever energy she has left, she uses to take care of her family. She is truly a very strong woman. However, her absence in our household effects many aspects of our daily lives. I wake up early to prepare myself and my siblings for the school day ahead. I do my little sisters’ hair; help them and my little brother dress, then scramble to fix myself up before I head out the door. Whether my father takes me to school, or I have no alternative but to walk, it’s always a difficulty to maintain a positive attitude when facing the long day ahead. With my day being filled with AP classes, homework, the musical, and my select theatre plays, I’ve had no time to bond with my family. My days begin at 6am and I usually don’t get home until 8:30-9pm due to rehearsals and what not. Saturdays aren’t easy, either. Set construction for the musical from 9am to 6pm. By that time, I help take care of my siblings then do my homework. Sundays, I wake up early and prepare myself and my siblings, as usual, for church. The day goes on and I get my homework done, while pushing my siblings to do the same. My mother is usually gone for a short span of time before she comes home, then leaves a day or so afterwards. The worst of the worst is when she has no choice but to be separated from us for a week or more at a time. My mother loves my family, her church, and her job. She says continually that she is so grateful for everything she has. She always tells me to be grateful, and how can I not be? I have a wonderful family, food, clothing, shelter, etc. I have more than what some people can only dream of. I am more than grateful for that, so who am I to complain about this routine? My selfish human nature; unfortunately, tends to get the best of me~

I miss my mother more than anything when she travels. When she’s gone, my everyday life is this stressful mess that no one can help me untangle. She keeps me sane and the world along with it. Her calmness keeps serenity in my life that no one can replace. When I think of where I would be had breast cancer claimed her life, I shudder. I would not be who I am today. This is why she travels. She travels to tell her story not only to speak to those who can make a difference, but to give hope, strength, and the same serenity she gives to me to all those who are where she has been and where she is now. I love my mother, and I can honestly say, in all selfishness, that I’m glad she’s back home for as long as she can be. 

I recently read a personal essay by Phillip Lopate about friendship. It was an extraordinary essay that was very well written; however, there was an element that I did not agree with. “Friends can’t be your family, they can’t be your loves, they can’t be your physiatrists. But they can be your friends, which is plenty,” (Riverside Reader, p. 279-280). From a logical standpoint, I can understand what Lopate is getting across. From an emotional standpoint; however, as a very emotional thinker myself, such “logic” isn’t comprehensible.

I’m not critiquing this man’s writing. How could I? Who am I in comparison to a professional writer? I am just an emotional writer and thinker. I write about subjects from the heart, and where has that gotten me?

I bring this quote up to write about something truly emotional for me: friendship. Why do I disagree with this singular quote? Why does it upset me so? Experiences with my best friend Ashley have made be believe an opposing opinion.   

Ashley has been my best friend since the 6th grade and we are able to talk about anything and everything. She has helped me become who I am today by playing many important roles in my life. Not only is she the best friend, but she is also the wise, older sister I never had, the mother, the teacher, and the open arms that I can always hold onto and cry when I don't know where to turn. She has been a great impact and influence on me from the moment we met up to now. 

We all have values that have been influenced by loved ones, family, significant others, and the like. That is what makes these opinions so personal and important to us. We all have that one person who means the most to us. Granted, we have our ups and our down; however, there is nothing better than those good "ups". Those moments are what should be cherished whether they are for a life time or a short while. Love the ones your with every day, and tell them how much they mean to you. 

Hello my beauties~

So I have a story to tell you all today. Friday and Saturday night I volunteered for a Breast Cancer fundraiser. It was one of those Haunted Houses. :) I got to dress up as a female vampire. A "Draculina" if you will. It was so much fun!! It was actually suggested by my Select Theatre class in school. 

The best part of the whole ordeal was that it was an independent fundraiser by an elderly couple and their grandson. Bless their hearts for it, but unfortunately there wasn't much advertising beforehand. What did that mean? We didn't get to many "victims" to scare and; therefore, not a lot of money for the cause.

But you know...

That's not the point. The amount of money raised? Yes, it's nice and makes a difference; however, what's more important was the fact that these kind people went out of their way to sacrifice a weekend for helping find the cure. It was a small gesture, but every amount of love is needed. 

It makes my heart so very happy to know that such goodness is alive today!! It's warming to know that people care. I'm not sure what the grand total raised was, but I do know that we had so much fun doing what we love for one of the greatest causes I know. 

Hello My Beauties~

 I apologize for not writing a blog last week! I've been so busy with school and theatre. I am now in 5 theatrical productions. It's been very exciting and a great experience, but rather stressful. Breast Cancer, in many ways, is also stressful; but always has an experience that we can learn from. The treatments, the pain, and the new exhaustion for simple tasks can wear anyone down; however, it is so easy to let your mind become just as down and under as the body is.  The slippery slope of depression and helplessness is very real.  But I am going to tell you - don't let cancer consume your mind too! 

Having Cancer yourself or being a close witness to a loved one with Cancer can be a way of learning new ways of life. The mind has always been a place where one can escape too. The mind is a personal haven that cannot be controlled by anyone but yourself.  So, in your everyday life, think of the good that comes from this disease! Think about your family, your job, your hopes and dreams. Take the time to smile and laugh at least once a day. Go about your normal day and don’t let Cancer control you. On a side note, studies have shown that those who think positively and are healthy mentally spend less time in the hospital than those who do not.  

I wish all of you luck in your battle against Cancer. One day, we will find the cure. Have a splendid week and remember to find one thing to smile about. J

Hello my Beauties~

Where were you ten years ago on September 11th, 2001? I was in the 1st grade. Like most of my peers, I don't remember exactly what happened. I remember that I asked my dad if I could watch Godzilla, since it was on T.V. at the time. My mom says that I thought the attacks were actually part of the movie, with buildings being destroyed left and right. I was so young. It was a month before my first sister was born. I think of her birth now as a way to distract my family from the horrors that occurred one month prior. 

It's was a horrific event. Words cannot even describe...

Ten years later, thousands gathered at the memorial today. In my youth group, we discussed what we believed the purpose of the attacks were. We came to the conclusion that it was to break apart our country. It was an attempt to tear the people away from what we stood for as a Nation. What they did was in vain. This tragedy brought out country closer together than it ever had before. We stood together. And ten years later, we honor those who died with great love and respect. 

God Bless America.