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Big Ball of Emotion

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The time has finally come for me to embark upon the greatest adventure of my life, and how do I feel? If you could roll up every form of excitement and mash it together with terrified, you would get me. I am studying abroad in the Netherlands for three months and I leave tomorrow! Ahhhhhh!!!

Of course I’m excited- I get to live in a castle in a completely different country and travel to faraway lands on the weekends. It’s my dream come true. I get to study writing, learn about new people and cultures, and eat foreign food. I even get to be the pen pal for the kindergarten class where my grandmother used to teach school. I know I’m going to come home at Christmas a worldlier, wiser individual, but it scares me.

I’m afraid to say goodbye to my mom and dad (I already had to say bye to my big sister which was pretty tough), to not be able to come home for three months, and to only be able to talk to them once a week. I know most college kids probably already only talk to their parents once a week, but not me. I’m the one who calls home every night to say goodnight and talk about the day.

This trip will be life changing. I know I’m ready for it, but it’s one of those things where you can tell yourself you’re ready all you want, but it doesn’t make the fear go away. As my mom says, “I know you can do it because I know I’ve raised you right and I have all the confidence in the world in you.” These are the words I keep telling myself- if Mom says I can, then I can.

If the only thing I’m afraid of is saying goodbye to my family, then I guess I don’t really have any problems. If anything, I’ll miss them terribly, and that’s not such a bad thing. I know my life is about to change and that’s a scary thought. Even if it’s for the better, change is still intimidating, especially when you see it in your very near future.

Well, it’s time for me to take my big ball of emotion and finish packing. I also have a little more basic Dutch t learn. So far I can introduce myself, say hello and goodbye, tell someone it’s nice to meet them, and ask where the toilet is. I have a ways to go. From now until Christmas, I’ll be writing from a castle in Holland. As they say in Dutch, tot ziens (see you later)!